Can i tell you a secret? I hope it dies in here. I've been in a friendship with a girl, well, precisely, it started at June, soem days after my birthday. In her birthday, i gave her some roses as a gift, and i was falling in love with her. That feeling started a big controversy between us, which made her hate me.
After some days, she reconciled with me, and told me she just wants to be friends with me (Friend-zoned), which made me very sad. That girl had a lot of problems in her life, from surgeries to PMS and the next-thing-i-don't-wanna-mention-but-comes-after-PMS.
Today, we are friends, and GOOD friends, by the way. But... all of this isn't the secret
The secret it... that... (Sigh)
One day, she had a "Party" at a disco, and she met a boy, whom had sex at the night.
She took like 4 pregnacy tests... and they all were negative, but she still has that feeling that she's pregnant, and i do truthfully think she is.
I began to feel something for her. It is NOT love, because i do certainly know we won't be together. it is... a strange feeling that i do havbe towards, maybe... huamntarism.
She asked me to do some Literature homework for her, which means... i got to lie to my Literature teacher and tell to him that she did the homework, but did gave it to me so i can pass it to a PC and impress it in an A4 page. I mean... i never lied to a teacher, specially to my Literature one, who is one of the teachers that i do most respect (Don't get me wrong, i do respect all of my teachers). And also, have to lie to the "preceptor" (Dunno the proper translation to English :S) and tell to her (Yeah, HER) that she (my friend) is sick, so she cannot fail her :S
Lie to both respected school teachers? That is INSANE, and definitively NOT ME. But what can you expect from me? Maybe she IS pregnant, and maybe i do need to take care of her indirectly (And by indirectly, i mean do her homework and all of that stuff while she has to take care of her baby).
Dammit, i wonder why she didn't fell in love with me after all the things i did to her. I mean, this is not the first time i did homework for her, i had to do her English homework once
Yeah, i do know that i am doing wrong decisions, doing someone else's homework, and such, but tell me:
Is it worth it to do illgeal things (And lying to teachers) in order to make a friend you do really love, stay clean out of this and have life easier?
I dunno what to think, i SERIOUSLY dunno what to think. My mind if so screwed right now! I could barely do my History homework (Which took me all night to do, 5:00 Am here, and i don't feel sleepy), and i am REALLY proud of it, cuz i did a perfect explanation of the Space Race during the Cold War. It is a pretty awesome assignment, you should see it sometime
But let's not get away from the main topic, okay?
I cannot sleep with all of this, I REALLY CANNOT SLEEP!
If after all i did, at least she has SOME romantic feelings for me, it is okay! But no, she doesn't feel anything for me
Dammit, i should try to hit the hay, i cannot get this out of my mind!
Lying, doing illgeal things, and for what? To make a beautiful girl smile
Disbelief, sadness, deppression, everything else but happiness.
Terrible feeling right now.
First time i've ever felt humanitarianly